Questioner: What should the family members do on the
anniversary of the death of their loved one?
Dadashri: They should pray to God and ask God to bless
their loved one wherever he or she may be.
Where Has The Loved One Gone?
Questioner: How can we know where a person is after
his death?
Dadashri: You need a special kind of knowledge for that.
Even if you were to know this, it has no use or value. If you were
to send deep inner prayers and messages, it will reach him.
So you want to know someone’s whereabouts? Have you
lost one of your relatives?
Questioner: My dear brother passed away very recently.
Dadashri: He does not think about you and you keep
thinking about him? Do you know what it means when a person
dies? It means that all accounts (karmic), his and yours, are now
closed. So all you can do whenever you remember him is to ask
the Lord to grant him peace. Whenever you remember your
brother, you should pray for his peace, wherever he is. What else
can you do?
Under God’s Trust
Ask whatever questions you have. Ask about a way to
reach God and how to get rid of any obstacles on that way, so
that I can get rid of them for you.
Questioner: My son died in an accident. What is the cause
of that accident?
Dadashri: Whatever you see happening around you in this
world with your naked eyes; whatever you hear with your ears, is
all relative truth; it is not the absolute truth. How can your son be
yours when even this body of yours does not remain as your own?
It is only because of social and worldly interactions that he is
considered your son. He is not your son in reality. In reality, not
even your body belongs to you. Only that which remains with you
eternally is considered yours. So your belief that your son is really
yours makes you unhappy and creates problems. Now that your
son is gone, it was God’s will, so you have to let go.
Questioner: That is true. What I had was God’s property
and he took it back.
Dadashri: Yes, this is all God’s estate.
Questioner: Is it because of our bad karma that he died
in such a way?
Dadashri: Yes, your son’s bad karma, and your bad karma.
If your karmas are good then the results will be good also.
The Inner Vibrations Reach The Dead
When parents worry and grieve for their children who have
died, their unhappiness reaches the children wherever they are
now. People, who grieve after the dead, do so because of
ignorance, therefore it is important for them to know the facts and
live peacefully.
What is the point of worrying unnecessarily? Death
is inevitable for all. These young ones who die are your accounts
from your past life’s interactions. These are all accounts of give
and take. I too had a son and a daughter, but they both died.
They were guests in our home. They came and they left. They
were not our property anyway. We too will have to go some day,
will we not? So do not worry about the dead. Instead give peace
and happiness to those who are still alive. Our duty is to those
who are living and dependent upon us. Those who are gone are
gone. Stop even remembering them. What foolishness is it to recall
those who have gone and grieve after them instead of taking care
and giving peace to those who are still living? Instead people
dwell in the past, oblivious of those present and living. In doing so
they are not fulfilling their duty.
Those who have departed from us become unhappy
wherever they are because the effect of our unhappiness reaches
them. Nothing is in our hands. Even the scriptures tell us not to
worry about loved ones that have departed. The rituals of prayer
and scriptural readings are practiced in order for people to forget
their loved ones. You too went through such rituals, did you not?
Questioner: But I cannot forget. I was very close to my
son.
Dadashri: Yes, it is not easy to forget, but if you do not, it
will make you both miserable. As a father you have to ensure that
you do not hurt him any more.
Questioner: In what way is he hurt?
Dadashri: When you grieve over him, your unhappiness
reaches him exactly and for sure. It is akin to a telephone or a
television in terms of its remote effects. This is the nature of
vibrations created within, in this world. Will your grieving bring
him back?
Questioner: No.
Dadashri: Is there anyway that he will come back?
Questioner: No.
Dadashri: When you grieve, your grief reaches him and
when you pray for him, your prayers too reach him and he will be
at peace. Is it not your duty to give him peace? You can even
distribute some sweets to the children at school in your son’s
memory.
Whenever you remember your son, you should say a prayer
for the liberation of his soul. Uttering the names of Self-realized
beings like ‘Krupadudev’ or even ‘Dada Bhagwan’ will help
you. That is because both ‘Dada Bhagwan’ and ‘Krupadudev’
are the same as far as the Soul is concerned. They are different
beings, but in their elemental form they are the same. Even when
you say the name of Lord Mahavir, it is one and the same. Your
only desire should be for the liberation of his soul. You pray for
the good of others, so why must you not do the same for those
who are very close to you? You lived with him and shared
everything with him and now your only desire should be for his
salvation.
Who Are They Crying For?
Questioner: Despite having the knowledge of
reincarnation, why do people cry when someone in the family
passes away?
Dadashri: They cry for their own selfish reasons. The
closest relatives cry genuinely, but the rest cry because they
remember their own dead relatives. That is a wonder in itself!
These people bring the past into the present. These Indian people
are amazing! They know how to bring the past into the present.
By such intense grieving one will create karma that lead too
much wandering in future lives.
Let Not the Matter to be Contained in the Mind Leak Out
Questioner: When Narsinh Mehta (a poet devotee of
Lord Krishna) was given the news of his wife’s death what did
he mean when he said, “A beneficial event has occurred, the
shackles of marital life have been broken:
I can now devote all my time to the Lord in peace.”
Dadashri: That statement was made on impulse. One
should keep such profound awareness within the mind and not
express it. It must not leak out in words. People, who openly say
things, which are best kept within, are called whimsical or
impulsive.
Discretion Of The Gnani
Gnanis are not whimsical or impulsive; they are very wise.
From within they may feel the same sense of relief as did Narsinh
Mehta, but outwardly they will say that a terrible event has
happened. They may even say, ‘I am lost, what will I do? How
will I live?’ and will mourn the dead. They will perform their
worldly role very convincingly. They will even dab a little water
on their eyes to show tears. Even an ordinary person would be
discrete and not say things that would offend those who are around.
For that matter even a person’s worst enemy would maintain
solemnity and respect. The Gnani never mourns, but he will play
out his worldly role with sincerity. ‘The world is a drama itself.’
All you have to do is play the role. Perform this role with sincerity.
Does The Soul Wander For thirteen Days?
Questioner: It has been said that after death there is a
rest house for thirteen days, where the soul rests. Is it true?
Dadashri: The Brahmins (Hindu priests) devised these
thirteen days and the rest house. What do the dead have to do
with it? The Brahmins call it a rest house. They say that the departed
soul, sits on the rooftop of the house, the size of a thumb, and
observes everything. What foolishness! What will it be observing?
And people even believe this and so they do not perform the
ritual ceremony of saravani till the thirteenth day after a person’s
death. (In the ritual of saravani – the family members buy a new
bed on which they put new blankets, bed sheets, items of clothing,
shoes, an umbrella, food etc., as an offering for the departed for
his journey to the next life).
Questioner: It has been written in Garuda Purana (one of
the 18 books in Hindu mythology) that the soul is only the size of
a thumb.
Dadashri: Yes that is why it is called Garuda Purana! It is
a long fabricated old story, which says the soul is the size of a
thumb. It is no wonder that people make no progress! They never
move ahead. In their rituals, the aim was scientific, but their
thinking has been ruined. People carry out such rituals and before
they do so, they give alms to the Brahmin priest who performs the
ritual. The Brahmin priest used to be worthy of receiving alms at
one time, and the people of the household would bind merit karma
in doing so. But now everything has become a farce. The Brahmin
priest will have already made a deal with a shopkeeper who will
buy the bed, the blankets and everything else from him! How do
people think these things are going to reach the departed soul?
Questioner: Dada, nowadays people will tell the Brahmin
to bring all these things to their homes and they will pay him a preagreed
amount.
Dadashri: It is not just now days. They have been doing
this for years. The priest will bring a bed given to him by someone
else! Even then people believe in such rituals, and they continue
to practice them. The Jains on the other hand do not practice
such rituals; they are very shrewd. They do not believe in such
things and in reality these rituals are bogus. As soon as the soul
leaves the body it goes straight to its destination; it acquires its
place of creation, the womb.
is inevitable for all. These young ones who die are your accounts
from your past life’s interactions. These are all accounts of give
and take. I too had a son and a daughter, but they both died.
They were guests in our home. They came and they left. They
were not our property anyway. We too will have to go some day,
will we not? So do not worry about the dead. Instead give peace
and happiness to those who are still alive. Our duty is to those
who are living and dependent upon us. Those who are gone are
gone. Stop even remembering them. What foolishness is it to recall
those who have gone and grieve after them instead of taking care
and giving peace to those who are still living? Instead people
dwell in the past, oblivious of those present and living. In doing so
they are not fulfilling their duty.
Those who have departed from us become unhappy
wherever they are because the effect of our unhappiness reaches
them. Nothing is in our hands. Even the scriptures tell us not to
worry about loved ones that have departed. The rituals of prayer
and scriptural readings are practiced in order for people to forget
their loved ones. You too went through such rituals, did you not?
Questioner: But I cannot forget. I was very close to my
son.
Dadashri: Yes, it is not easy to forget, but if you do not, it
will make you both miserable. As a father you have to ensure that
you do not hurt him any more.
Questioner: In what way is he hurt?
Dadashri: When you grieve over him, your unhappiness
reaches him exactly and for sure. It is akin to a telephone or a
television in terms of its remote effects. This is the nature of
vibrations created within, in this world. Will your grieving bring
him back?
Questioner: No.
Dadashri: Is there anyway that he will come back?
Questioner: No.
Dadashri: When you grieve, your grief reaches him and
when you pray for him, your prayers too reach him and he will be
at peace. Is it not your duty to give him peace? You can even
distribute some sweets to the children at school in your son’s
memory.
Whenever you remember your son, you should say a prayer
for the liberation of his soul. Uttering the names of Self-realized
beings like ‘Krupadudev’ or even ‘Dada Bhagwan’ will help
you. That is because both ‘Dada Bhagwan’ and ‘Krupadudev’
are the same as far as the Soul is concerned. They are different
beings, but in their elemental form they are the same. Even when
you say the name of Lord Mahavir, it is one and the same. Your
only desire should be for the liberation of his soul. You pray for
the good of others, so why must you not do the same for those
who are very close to you? You lived with him and shared
everything with him and now your only desire should be for his
salvation.
Who Are They Crying For?
Questioner: Despite having the knowledge of
reincarnation, why do people cry when someone in the family
passes away?
Dadashri: They cry for their own selfish reasons. The
closest relatives cry genuinely, but the rest cry because they
remember their own dead relatives. That is a wonder in itself!
These people bring the past into the present. These Indian people
are amazing! They know how to bring the past into the present.
By such intense grieving one will create karma that lead too
much wandering in future lives.
Let Not the Matter to be Contained in the Mind Leak Out
Questioner: When Narsinh Mehta (a poet devotee of
Lord Krishna) was given the news of his wife’s death what did
he mean when he said, “A beneficial event has occurred, the
shackles of marital life have been broken:
I can now devote all my time to the Lord in peace.”
Dadashri: That statement was made on impulse. One
should keep such profound awareness within the mind and not
express it. It must not leak out in words. People, who openly say
things, which are best kept within, are called whimsical or
impulsive.
Discretion Of The Gnani
Gnanis are not whimsical or impulsive; they are very wise.
From within they may feel the same sense of relief as did Narsinh
Mehta, but outwardly they will say that a terrible event has
happened. They may even say, ‘I am lost, what will I do? How
will I live?’ and will mourn the dead. They will perform their
worldly role very convincingly. They will even dab a little water
on their eyes to show tears. Even an ordinary person would be
discrete and not say things that would offend those who are around.
For that matter even a person’s worst enemy would maintain
solemnity and respect. The Gnani never mourns, but he will play
out his worldly role with sincerity. ‘The world is a drama itself.’
All you have to do is play the role. Perform this role with sincerity.
Does The Soul Wander For thirteen Days?
Questioner: It has been said that after death there is a
rest house for thirteen days, where the soul rests. Is it true?
Dadashri: The Brahmins (Hindu priests) devised these
thirteen days and the rest house. What do the dead have to do
with it? The Brahmins call it a rest house. They say that the departed
soul, sits on the rooftop of the house, the size of a thumb, and
observes everything. What foolishness! What will it be observing?
And people even believe this and so they do not perform the
ritual ceremony of saravani till the thirteenth day after a person’s
death. (In the ritual of saravani – the family members buy a new
bed on which they put new blankets, bed sheets, items of clothing,
shoes, an umbrella, food etc., as an offering for the departed for
his journey to the next life).
Questioner: It has been written in Garuda Purana (one of
the 18 books in Hindu mythology) that the soul is only the size of
a thumb.
Dadashri: Yes that is why it is called Garuda Purana! It is
a long fabricated old story, which says the soul is the size of a
thumb. It is no wonder that people make no progress! They never
move ahead. In their rituals, the aim was scientific, but their
thinking has been ruined. People carry out such rituals and before
they do so, they give alms to the Brahmin priest who performs the
ritual. The Brahmin priest used to be worthy of receiving alms at
one time, and the people of the household would bind merit karma
in doing so. But now everything has become a farce. The Brahmin
priest will have already made a deal with a shopkeeper who will
buy the bed, the blankets and everything else from him! How do
people think these things are going to reach the departed soul?
Questioner: Dada, nowadays people will tell the Brahmin
to bring all these things to their homes and they will pay him a preagreed
amount.
Dadashri: It is not just now days. They have been doing
this for years. The priest will bring a bed given to him by someone
else! Even then people believe in such rituals, and they continue
to practice them. The Jains on the other hand do not practice
such rituals; they are very shrewd. They do not believe in such
things and in reality these rituals are bogus. As soon as the soul
leaves the body it goes straight to its destination; it acquires its
place of creation, the womb.
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