Caring for the Loved Ones at the Time of Death

Questioner: What should the extended family and those

around, do when their loved one is about to die?

Dadashri: You have to be extremely careful when attending

to the care of the one who is on his deathbed. Graciously accept

everything that he utters. None of his sentences should be negated

and all his requests should be fulfilled. Do everything to keep him

happy, and even when he is mean, be kind in return. He may ask

for some milk. Give it to him immediately. If he complains about

the milk being too thin and watery, bring him a glass of good milk

promptly. Do whatever it takes to make him comfortable.

Questioner: So there is no need to be concerned about

what is right or wrong?

Dadashri: There is no such thing as right or wrong in this

world. Continue to do what you are doing to keep him happy. Be

gentle and patient with him as you would be with a child.

The Right Meditation At The Time Of Death

Questioner: There are certain rituals people are made to

practice in the last hour of their life. Some Lamas are made to

carry out certain activities in the last hour of their life. The Tibetans

Lamas say that when a person is on his deathbed, they tell the

soul of the dying person how to depart. Some people recite from

the Gita so that good words are spoken to the dying in his final

hour. 

Do these rituals have any effect?




Dadashri: No, such last minute rituals achieve nothing. Is

it possible for one to make up for all the losses one incurs during

the course of the entire year by simply making a profit at the end

of the year?

Questioner: No, it will not work.

Dadashri: Why not?

Questioner: The balance sheet will reflect all the

transactions for the entire year.

Dadashri: In the same token, it is the end sum of all the

activities of one’s entire life that is brought forward. In performing

these rituals, people are deceiving the dying and all around him.

They are making fools out of them by giving false promises.

Questioner: Dada, when a person is on his deathbed and

at the end of his life, he is conscious and if at that time someone

recites the Gita or any other religious scriptures in his ears ……

Dadashri: It should be done only at the request of the

dying. One can read to him only if he wishes to listen.

Euthanasia: Mercy Killing

Questioner: When a person is suffering from a chronic

illness for which there is no cure, it does not seem right to prolong

their suffering. What is wrong with helping them end their suffering?

In this respect it is hard to believe that if we help him by mercy

killing, that his suffering will continue in the next life.

Dadashri: No one has a right to do that, whatsoever. We

have a right to treat them and take care of them, but not to kill

them.

Questioner: Where is the benefit for us in prolonging

their suffering?

Dadashri: What is the benefit in killing, then? When you

kill a suffering man, you will lose your birthright to be born as a

human again. It goes against the principles of humanity.

Companion Only till The Funeral Pyre

The cover on this pillow will keep changing, but the pillow

remains the same. When the pillow cover becomes ragged, it will

be discarded. In the same way this covering of ours, this body

too is discarded.

This whole world is hollow and without any substance. But

one cannot say so openly in this world. People go to the cemetery

with their loved ones, but they are not so overcome with grief that

they never return home. They all return home, including the grieving

mother who has just buried her son.

Questioner: If the deceased has not bequeathed anything

to the family, they will cry and complain. But if he leaves them

enough, they will remain silent.

Dadashri: Yes, they shed tears because he leaves them

nothing. In their minds they blame him for leaving nothing behind

and ruining them. It is because of the family’s own lack of punya

– meritorious deeds - that he did not leave anything behind for

them and it is because of the deceased’s bad karmas that he is

being cursed and blamed.

All who go to the funeral home, return, do they not? Does

anyone accompany the dead one? Really, all this is a show. People

criticize the ones who do not cry or grieve as being heartless. And

they accuse those who cry as being emotional and melodramatic.

So whatever one does, there is a problem either way. The world

will criticize either way.




In the rest area near the funeral pyre you can see them

sharing snacks even as the cremation is going on. Have you not

seen this?

Questioner: They actually take snacks along with them!

Dadashri: Is that so? What is one to do in a world like

this?

People bind relationships in routine words like ‘welcome

or good bye’ but do not take responsibility for them. Do you take

any responsibility? Not even for your wife?

Questioner: No.

Dadashri: What are you saying! A man dotes on his wife

and tells her he cannot live without her and yet he would not go

into the funeral pyre with her!